Feeling Stuck? Turn to Solomon Instead of Reddit
Me again! After reading so many posts in Facebook groups, on Reddit and all four corners of the world wide web asking for advice, and rightly so that is what the community is there for, it got me wondering…
Why are we so good at giving other people advice, and terrible at following our instincts?
In every topic from relationship advice to career advice, there seem to be ‘basic’ or ‘obvious’ questions that a horde of strangers needs to answer before we can act.
After a bit of light reading, I’ve found that strangely enough, this is a completely normal thing.
It even has a name: Solomon’s Paradox
Summary:
How Can We Use it to Our Advantage?
What is Solomon’s Paradox?
Solomon’s Paradox is a psychological concept, which pretty much concludes we are better at giving advice to others rather than ourselves because objective reasoning is easier than subjective reasoning.
Interestingly though, the studies haven’t given a clear reason why we work this way.
It’s named after the Great King Solomon who was known for his wisdom when it came to others but made some pretty bad decisions himself.
Why am I telling you this?
This isn’t random general pub quiz knowledge, it can be used to help you make better decisions.
I’ve seen a lot of ladies worrying that they are insecure because they get friends to talk them through their dating life. But sometimes it isn’t about insecurity.
The truth is you may just be a human experiencing a human thing.
How to Use Solomon’s Paradox to Make Better Decisions.
Well, the good news is that we can use it to be more independent with our problem-solving. And it’s pretty simple: the more objective you make the situation, the better your decision-making will be.
1. Take some time/distance.
Taking some time and space to clear your head can give you clarity. You aren’t so caught up in the heat of the moment, so it’s easier to make a decision based on reason rather than raw emotion. You’ll also be more likely to stick to your decision if you practise this kind of ‘slow thinking’.
2. Journal
Journalling is a great way to get the gunk out of your head, and on paper. Sometimes it can be easier to connect the dots when you can physically see them. You can find out how to use Solomon’s paradox when journalling here.
3. Ask yourself what you would advise a close friend
Most of the time we know the right answer. We just don’t like or are afraid of the consequences of our decision. For example, some of us don’t like confrontation from setting boundaries. But if we wouldn’t want to see a friend hurting, why are we so happy to take that hurt ourselves?
4. Ask your future self
This might seem a bit ‘woke and spiritual’ to some. But pretending you are speaking to a wiser, more decisive version of yourself can help some people make their situations more objective, or give them the courage to take the right course of action. When in doubt fake it till you make it!
Anyways lovelies, I hope that if you find yourself asking strangers on the internet, a question that you know the answer to, you’ll feel a little better knowing you’re not weak or insecure.
You’re just human.
Sending all the fuzzy positive vibes your way
Aysha
Xoxo (yes I was a Gossip Girl fan)
If found this as interesting as I did, here are some of the journals to get your teeth into.
